Learn how to use the Gottman-Rapoport Intervention with your partner. This step-by-step guide explains the speaker and listener roles, common challenges, and practical tips for better communication.
Gottman-Rapoport Intervention: A Step-by-Step Guide for Couples Read More »
When marriage starts feeling more like a roommate relationship, rebuilding the friendship underneath can help. Learn how Love Maps, Fondness and Admiration, and Turning Towards can help couples reconnect.
When the Chemistry Fades: How to Reconnect in Your Marriage Read More »
When an old hurt keeps resurfacing, the conversation may be less about the past and more about fear of the future. Learn how taking responsibility can create safety, help apologies land, and give couples a reason to hope again.
Why Taking Responsibility Makes It Safe to Hope Again Read More »
Arguments can leave couples feeling hurt, disconnected and unsure how to start talking again. Learn a three-part process for calming yourself, recovering connection and returning to the conversation.
How to Recover After an Argument With Your Partner Read More »
“We need help with our communication” is a common thing I hear at the beginning of couples therapy. It makes sense to start by working on skills that create a calmer way of talking so that couples can quickly have a better experience of each other. Once conversations begin to calm, however, what’s often
Gottman Aftermath of a Fight: How Couples Can Repair After Conflict Read More »
When Couples Have Trouble Making Decisions Together I’ve noticed that couples can struggle when they need to make big decisions. It’s common for a couple to ask me to help them improve their communication and calm down the arguing, only to discover that the underlying issue is that they can’t make a decision together.
How to Make Decisions Together as a Couple: A 5-Step Process Read More »
When Couples Have a Big Decision to Make Sometimes, couples see me because they need help making a big decision. They’ve experienced a significant event, they’re facing a crisis together, or they’re planning a major lifestyle change. Their relationship may actually be doing quite well. They’re simply having trouble making an important decision together.
Couple Decision-Making Under Stress: 5 Ideas That Help Create Clarity and Connection Read More »
When “Poor Communication” Isn’t Just About Communication “He always…” “What I said was…” “It’s my turn to talk now.” “Do you see how they never listen to me?” Arguing during the first few sessions of couples therapy is helpful for me as the therapist. I’m being invited into a sacred space in the relationship
The Four Horsemen in Relationships: The Emotions Beneath Poor Communication Read More »
“We’re Just Too Different” “We’re just too different.” I hear couples say that from time to time during the first few sessions of couples therapy. As they say it, I hear the defeat and the low sense of hope. I also sometimes hear a plea underneath it, asking me to challenge that point of view
My Partner and I Are Too Different: Why Differences Can Build Intimacy Read More »
Introduction As a couples therapist, especially during the first few sessions, I often watch conversations spiral out of control no matter how hard couples try to stay calm. Therapists often call this escalation. When couples become escalated, something interesting tends to happen. Some stop talking to each other altogether and direct every comment to
Why Couples Escalate During Arguments Read More »
